Evening, lovebugs ♥ I recently shared a very personal story on my youtube channel – that I also wanted to share on my blog because of the subjects in this video. I haven’t always been that happy girl. I’ve been dealing with a lot of mental problems and issues regarding my looks and body for way too many years of my life. It’s a very sad and destructive thing – and I know that I’m not the only one who has been and/or are dealing with these problems at this exactly moment – which for me makes me wanna share my story and open up! I know how HARD it can be to speak about it. It hurts. So Bad. I’ve been there myself – and I therefore hope that if you’re reading this or if you know someone who’s suffering – that this can be a little helpful.
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Isn’t it weird how sometimes one little thing can change your life forever? That one simple decision can make a whole new story. One word. One choice. One experience. It’s the moment when you know that whatever happens next – nothing will ever be exactly the same again. There will be times when you wish you could go back to how things used to be, but you just can’t because things have changed too much.
I’ve just realized how much has changed in my life. There are moments I’ll never get back. Memories I’ll remember forever. Things I wish I could delete and even things I don’t remember. In just one whole year I’ve both gain and lost a lot of friendship, and some of the people who said; “I’ll always be here for you”, ended up leaving. People really do change – I guess this is just how life works.
There’ll be times where we’ll have to make decisions. Some big, but some might be quite small – but what you choose to do can define and change your life – for good. So what if we make the wrong choice? Will there be possibilities to undo that simple mistake? Everyday we make choices and we learn from it – nobody can go through life without facing regret. Some of us may regret a lot of the things we did in the past – but we somehow learn to deal with it. And some of us regret regretting in the first place.
You could have gone in a totally different direction – but you chose to follow your gut – so in the end – maybe it was right after all? Or was it? We can loose everything in a blink of an eye. Everything we’re been working so hard on achieving. It’s possible. Even if you’ve spent your whole life building it up!
I’ve spent my entire life figuring out who I am. What I want. And the truth is that I guess I’ll never really figure it out. I can’t really seem to get my life sorted out – it can be horrible at times – but it can also be great. It’s like I’m talking a language I don’t quite understand. There are so many questions – and so little answers. Even time can be short. I sometimes pretend that I know – that I’ve got an answer – even if I don’t have a clue. I’m young. I got so much ahead of me.
The journey is long – and we can decide to choose a whole new direction – if we want. We got the power to follow our dream – even if we later on figure out that that wasn’t it. It’s better to learn for a mistake. Try and fail – or regret. Instead of not doing it at all.
When we’re young we can do whatever we want. Wish for. Move and live wherever we dream of living. Discover the world. There are a lot of people in this wonderful world. When I’m walking around town – it’s pretty easy to feel alone. Small. Not good enough.
I don’t know anything about you. Not even if you understand. You’re reading me chapter by chapter. You’re building me up – wanting me to be better. You’re beauty inspires to a lie. If you’re a house of glass and I’m the rock – you’re still the one trying to see through me!